4 Pieces of Advice For Anxious, High-Achieving College Students - From A Licensed Therapist Who’s Been There

College is a stressful time for just about everybody. The pressure to earn a high GPA, build a thriving social life, and…you know…decide what you’re going to do for the rest of your life??

If, on top of that, you’re also struggling with anxiety or feel the need to be perfect in everything you do, it’s a recipe for getting overly stressed, burning out, and feeling like a failure. Which is the opposite of what you want!

If you’re smart, ambitious, and highly motivated, and yet you can’t help feeling like you’re doing college on “hard mode,“ this article is for you.

Keep reading for 4 pieces of advice I give to all my high-achieving college student clients, both as someone who’s been in your shoes, and as a licensed therapist who now specializes in working with clients just like you.

1) Go To Office Hours

Going to professors’ office hours can feel unnecessary and tedious, like something you only do when you really need to. But regularly attending the office hours of even one or two professors each year can serve 3 purposes:

1) It gives you the opportunity to get any questions you may have answered in a 1:1 or small group setting, often helping you gain a better understanding of the material introduced in class and therefore a leg up on exams and papers.

2) It allows you to build a relationship with professors that may lead to endless career opportunities, like a letter of recommendation for graduate school, a professional reference for a job or internship, or a job in their lab which can lead to getting published in a peer-reviewed article. Pretty great, right?

3) It’s also a great way to network and connect with other highly ambitious students like yourself. You never know who is going to make a good study buddy or future roommate, or hook you up with a job once you’ve graduated.

2) Make Your Own Opportunities

Want to land an internship, research assistance position, or summer job, but don’t see anyone advertising openings? You don’t have to be limited to just what you see offered. If there’s a cause you’re passionate about, or an industry you’re curious about, research several companies (or professors, business owners, etc.) in those fields and reach out to them to ask if they'd be willing to take you on as an intern or part time employee. You never know who will be willing to create an opportunity for the right candidate. If you don’t ask, the answer will always be “no“.

3) Join A Study Group

You can learn A LOT on your own, but you learn more, and faster, by studying with others. There are 2 main benefits to this:

1) It helps you study more effectively. When you’re studying with a partner or in a group, you can implement learning strategies that help you understand and retain the information but better than through memorization alone. You can have someone quiz you, or teach them a topic you’re learning to see where the gaps in your own knowledge are.

2) It helps you build and strengthen friendships. A huge bonus to studying with others is that it also doubles as social interaction, giving you the opportunity to get to know classmates you might not otherwise talk to, and bond over things like how confusing the homework is or that weird, way-too-personal story your professor told last class.

4) Keep Your Plans (Reasonably) Flexible

So many high-achieving college students start college with one plan in mind. It might sound like this: “I need to get good grades in college so I can apply to an internship or grad school afterwards. If I don’t get into an internship or grad school I won’t be able to get a job in my field. If I don’t get a job in my field I’ll have wasted my time and money and my parents will think I failed them. If I’m a failure to myself or my parents that will be the worst thing in the world.“ You may be thinking very linearly, assuming that you need to reach each step (and succeed at it), to get to the next one. In reality, you have no way of knowing what your future will look like (scary! I know, but this works out in your favor).

Life isn’t one path of stepping stones that can only be traveled in one particular order. Often there are side quests, road blocks, and other changes in your plan that feel like you’re being derailed, but are actually taking you exactly where you need to go. If you’re limiting your future to what your 16, 17, or 18-year old self wanted and imagined for themselves, your 22-year-old self will be severely limited. You don’t know what you don’t know, and that’s the magic of college: you get to discover so many new paths and opportunities that you won’t even know exist until you encounter them.

Looking for a therapist to help you navigate the ins and outs of college stress? We got you! We specialize in helping college students just like yourself overcome the anxiety, perfectionism, and stress that are keeping you from actually enjoying college. Schedule a free intro call today to learn more about how we can help.

Please note that while this article was written by a licensed mental health professional, it is not a replacement for mental health treatment or advice, and is not meant to diagnose, treat, or cure any medical or psychiatric condition. Always use your discretion to determine if information from this article or any others on our website is applicable to you and your situation.